Part 30: Aha, my old nemesis! A TRUCK! FAPPO! Also I think Giver's made a tentacle rape joke in every update he's written thus far.
Still continuing off the same day from the last update.
Poor guy is bummed out.
Well now you gotta spend all this time finding a new source of bugfrags, ain't ya?
The duo get a piece of mail, apparently.
Why not. We have to fill Dex's spot anyway. And it's a big spot to fill.
It's true, because he's such a large friend.
COME BACK TO ME, DEX! I WANT BUGFRAGS!
It's OK, maybe Mamoru knows where to find bugfrags.
Ouch.
Well... at least the hospital's in a nice location, right?
Hmm, HBD? That sounds like the BN equivalent of HRD (Heart Rhythm Disorder), otherwise known as Arrhythmias.
Umm I believe it's AHD. Anime Heart Disease.
Mega's just cranky because he wants to look at the ocean too.
Wanna go swimming? I'll give you a push!
It's sad that Mamoru never got to make friends like Lan's friends.
Sure, just don't ask me to get you stuff. I'm broke! Don't say anything, Echy. He doesn't have to know.
YOU HAVE A BATTLECHIP PROBLEM. It's OK, we're all your friends here man, we're not going to judge you.
NO! Not my hard-earned BattleChips!
Dude it's OK, you can let it go, you're bigger than this.
Why, Lan! Why!?
Find your centre of strength, Giver. Ask yourself about the ironies of somebody with your handle not being OK with giving away a battlechip.
Who the hell would want it in M code? There's an Iceball * and a Lavaball * you know.
The "M" stand for "awesome". Kind of.
Ah, shit. He got excited.
Good going. You killed our newest friend. Scumbaggery runs in the family, eh, Hikari?
WHY DO OUR FRIENDS ALWAYS LEAVE US a bloo bloo bloo
Kudos for trying to simulate strained breathing in text.
And for managing not to fuck up the text-spacing for once. Go Capcom!
I'd like to think that what he suggested is common sense, Lan. That, and Navis are supposed to know this kind of stuff. After all, they have to help humans. Granted, nurse programs would naturally know more, but I'm sure every Navi comes pre-programmed with some basic medical knowledge.
Wait did you say nurse programs? oh my god mr progs in scrubs
I always find this shit weird when people are talking when something urgent is happening! Of course we have time to stop and talk! Are you daft!?
Hey now, a kid's dying, we got plenty of time.
No, I want to grind.
If there's time to talk, there's time to grind, amirite?
God dammit.
No thanks to our hero and protagonist over here.
Hey now, don't sell yourself short. You were plenty help in overexciting that kid and helping cause his heart attack. That's what friends are for~
Can't YOU call him? What do you normally do in a crisis, woman? Just sit there and hope someone fetches a doctor? Page him!
She doesn't actually work here. Either that or she won't shortly. It's the only possible explanation for such incompetence.
All he says is to go back to Mamoru and stand by him. You know, what the nurse should have immediately done?
He's a doctor.
Why wasn't someone watching this kid all the time if his condition was this severe? What would have happened if he had an attack while Lan wasn't here or if nobody saw? Oh right, Lan caused this, nevermind.
Goooo team Hikari!
Granted, Mamoru specifically asked for Lan and there's no way Lan could have known what would happened. I'm just being a dick.
And, let's be fair, Lan's not often smart enough to think through the consequences of actions, anyway.
That, coupled with never leaving the hospital can be enough to make some patients say "fuck it, just end me already." It's kinda depressing, actually.
And there is a certain risk with heart surgery anyway, which makes it even less of a compelling option after a point.
Even if it's new and all, Mamoru just thinks it's not gonna make a difference. Because there have been numerous attempts to treat this disease. Understandable drama, what? No wonder Mamoru is liked.
That and he's Tuxedo Mask.
...What?
Try saying that while attempting to get a girl to like you.
Lan doesn't know the meaning of most words.
Oh damn it all.
Good thing I have Iceball M. It's almost like I knew about this ahead of time.
And also you are a terrible, terrible chip-hoarder.
Give me the chips, man. We can get through this together.
Liar! You just want them all to yourself!
Someone should have been monitoring you more closely if you ask me.
What is this, a hospital?
He just wants to die, I bet.
Maybe he doesn't want to die. Or maybe he doesn't want people telling him what to do. Fuck you man, my body my choice.
Our fill-in for Dex is already giving up hope. Fuck, man.
He's still not large enough to be a fill-in for Dex. Maybe surgery would help.
Except he was a baby and couldn't do shit about it. HBD got an S-rank on Hub.
Dude.
Okay, that was mean.
Somebody get Mega to the burn ward!
It was AHD. It's true. He was almost as anime as you, Tuxedo Mask.
Yeah, Lan basically tells Mamoru it was HBD and that kinda pushes him in the right direction.
: Fucking bitch ass kid. I got S-ranked by this thing as a baby and he has a treatment that can work...and HE's whining?
Now I have to grind more copies to make up for that.
We're in a hospital. I'm sure we can find treatment for that.
Cool. But first, I have some house keeping to take care of. I put this off long enough.
You're off to grind chips again, aren't you? AREN'T YOU? ok this is probably getting old enough now
I sense a
nearby.Jinkies!!
Time to show off a cool battle mechanic. This mechanic is not found in any other Battle Network game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY-1PG-k9Bo
Hooooly crap what did you do to that sand?!
Yes, if you use Wind * on a SandStage, then the sand panels will deal damage to the enemy. It's 50 damage a pop and doesn't cause flinching, so you could potentially rack up some damage with that. A shame something like that never came back.
DesertMan's chip can be pretty fun. It summons hands in either the top and bottom, or middle rows, depending on your position. Hands will spawn in the column in front of the one you activated this chip on. The hands will fly down the field, dealing damage and creating Sand Panels where they fly. Notably, if you can summon one of the hands on a panel the enemy rests on, they'll get hit twice.
I'm not done with him yet.
You kicked sand in his face, like some kind of beach bully! Don't steal his girlfriend, man!
This Prog makes the sound of TV static. You know that Sunayama was all about the ratings, right? Well, in that light, it makes sense DesertMan Beta would be inside a television. Though, why an OLD television is anyone's guess. "Old like the sands?" Eh. Still, if you come here earlier, there are Sand panels in the virus encounters.
To be fair, that tv looks old as balls. I mean sand, old as sand.
Like this. This is possibly your biggest hint as to DesertMan being in here.
Oho, NOW we're gonna have some fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kikMZFmTu0
Kick that sand!
Bed time!
Fuck.
How did we get put down as Mamoru's next-of-kin, again??
You mean the friendship gift didn't work? Wow. That's a first.
M-maybe it's not AHD, because that was exactly anime enough that it should have worked.
Right-o.
I guess she's tired of always being in the kitchen? Cuz she sure looks annoyed to me.
Maybe this why Lan never tells her what's going on. Because she just stares at him like that, yikes.
Why are you telling her this? Stahp, Lan.
BECAUSE FRIENDS~
I'm sick of you, that's what.
STOP TELLING EVERYONE, LAN!
It's his way of working out his anxieties, man. That and priming new friends for if surgery doesn't go well.
It's failing us!
Well he- he's still alive, isn't he? Yaaaay it's working
Make sure they don't hit the edges, otherwise the patient's nose will light up.
Lan's pacing around a lot, naturally.
Nothing out of the ordinary. Kid's got a lot of energy to use up.
Only a minute? Lies.
Lan can't count real good.
White screenshot? Hmm. It wasn't white when I played this I don't think.
Maybe you had your eyes closed? Or *gasp* maybe your computer's haunted!! Check for ghosts!!
Either way, something is up with the elevator.
Everything's fine! Probably.
Not a capitilzation error, just me abridging this.
Not that we'd expect much better from Capcom anyway.
I told you tentacle raping was a thing!
And I told you, tentacle rape isn't a scheduled surgery under medicare!
Up to the 3rd floor!
This fucking tree is now pissing me off.
What are you, some kind of reverse-hippie?? Hug that tree at once, mister.
Ruh-roh.
How the fuck can a malfunction cause all this shit.
It's a tree malfunction, man.
i have no fuckin idea
To the elevator!
Always use elevators in case of emergency!
Fucking typical, right Lan?
Oh wait, right, yeah, never use elevators in case of emergency.
Let me guess, the emergency exit is powered by the malfunctioning tree.
That's just crazy enough to be true! It's...
GREEN ENERGY
hahaha oh my god kill me
Dammit.
The emergency exit? Who thought that was a good idea?
Hopefully not the OH&S guys.
I'm disappointed Meddy doesn't make a reference to this place.
Hoooo boy that's a lot of pills.
Digiplant? Will it digivolve into a digidinosaur?
....A digital plant??
Yay! Oilbody is the fire equivalent of Fish, allowing us to search for Fire viruses, if any.
There's a good reason you get this item in this particular dungeon.
I dunno if it's a "good" reason. Unless you like dumb gimmicks (oh. But if you're playing a MMBN game and you don't like dumb gimmicks you're gonna have a bad time).
I'm gonna hate this dungeon.
But how will we remove the digiplants?! A bigger digimon??
Sadface.
Not as cool as it might sound.
Which, considering it's being said by a Mr Prog, actually not that cool in the first place. Plenty cute, though.
Overworld only type of thing. Isn't relevant for battling unless you want to keep your Fire chips
Uh... you're running a FireStyle. You can already shoot a flamethrower in battle.
Just assume it's equipped in my NaviCust. Yes, another forced NaviCust segment. Oy vey.
Indeed. MegaMan Battle Network 3: the game that makes running around the internet burning shit with a flamethrower actually not that fun or exciting.
But, you can get Recov120 * in the TV at the lobby! Why is O code in another blue?
Ummmmmmmm something something blood types. It's for people who react badly to *-type recov?
We have to permanently give up one of our hard earned Fire Chips for each digiplant that blocks our path. I HATE this, because I'm very squirrel-y and don't like to let go of things. And I always want to keep 4 copies of every chip I find so I can build folders with. This SUCKS!
BECAUSE YOU'RE A HOARDER man you gotta let it go. Let it go. You never use them, it's OK, they're just trash chips.
Good thing we equipped Oilbody, because now...
...we need to start grinding for Fire Chips. It's a good thing my folder is built towards S-ranking. Virus fights are over in under a turn usually.
Yep, at least the game was kind enough to give you the ability to easily get more fire chips.
Motherfucker.
IT Security!
Viney/Viner/Vinest: Asshats. When they are sitting like that, they are impervious all forms of damage, except for Fire. After a bit, they will attack by sending a vine at you from underneath your position. Hitting this vine with any sort of attack will damage this virus proper.
I agree, MegaMan. Those things suck.
With the door working, we can press onward.
The first floor is still blockaded by vines, mind you.
Baby steps, or something.
Welp.
Lan, he's not the boss of you! You totally can!
It's also no time to be STUPID, either! But hey, what are you gonna do?
And yet, it's no time NOT to be stupid!
Not sure why IrfanView decided to make all the black scenes white during conversion.
Racist program.
Wat.
He's fine!
Even in the year 20XX, we must find keys to enter dungeons.
Well you don't want just anybody getting in there.
And you're not trying to fix this shit!?
If there's any justice in this world, that's because she just got fired.
Then why the fuck do you have the key!?
Well she obviously doesn't anymore. Problem solved! Yaaay.
Because we haven't seen enough of those!
The elevator?
Yeah, that's strange.
Tree-powered??
Did that elevator just call you a ding-dong? Because..... spot on! hahaha
You bitch!
You just jelly you ain't got her styyyyle.
Root out. The puns.
Yyyyeah, we're gonna try a root and branch approach to tackling this issue.
T-This chick. I-I don't. WHAT!?
Net society, man. One world government. It's all in the trees, man.
I don't fucking--
Like, you can't own trees, you net society menace.
Like your brain?
Like, oh my god.
I think they destroyed your brain cells.
Because if there's one thing the WWW is after, it's nnnnot one world government. Wait shit. Now I have no idea what I'm talking about - what's the Net Society again??
Lan is telling someone they got tricked. LAN.
SCIENCE MADE YOU TRICKED, BRO
Cool look of the mugshot.
Whoah, that guy looks almost as cool as Protoman.
Anetta begins to run off, which prompts Lan to yell at her to come back.
Can tell by the positioning of the characters in this scene.
Seems like if you had a navi that could control plants you could do a lot more good than attacking a hospital, if you were smart.
BAD HABITS!
What is this, the "don't give a fuck" mugshot convention?
Woot, this completes our GutsPunch series.
Oh dear, this is going places
This one fires 3 fists down the row you are in. This code can be activated by holding A and pressing B, B, down, left, right, B. It deals about 300 damage. Not bad.
Nice!
The Mr.Progs will always give you hints about which digiplant needs to get burned to find hidden switches or warp points. This does me no good as I plan to burn EVERY DIGIPLANT. Yes, EVERY! SINGLE! ONE!
For somebody who doesn't like the gimmick in this dungeon you sure like using the gimmick in this dungeon.
The Prog is clearly talking about the weed on the very top, but I have a tendency to clean up everything. You may think it's silly, but I did not get to be this good and knowledgeable by not checking out everything.
Mr Progs are always talking about weed. Wait what are we talking about? ...duuuude.
Sometimes digiplants will yield other fire chips, which is basically a freebie.
Or a switch if you pick the right one.
Or a virus which gives you the chance to earn another fire chip.
It's fire chips, all the way down. At least the dungeon's generous around its gimmick.
Some free healing, should you ever need it.
Healing?? In dungeons??? Man what is this
You are actually a little genius, aren't you? You make us waste your weakness on killing your plants so that when we fight you, we won't have any fire chips in our pack! Unlucky for you, I grind.
YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, GIVER.
PlantMan's Paltry Poetry
Pathetic.
You wanna fight me, fruitcake?
He's not a fruitcake. He's a beautiful flower of a man.
Come at me, bro. 1v1 IRL, scrub.
...give us back our IceBall M?
That depends. Would you steal a chip from a dead child?
wait please don't answer that.
But I BURNED those down.
Whoah man, you're harshing my buzz.
Oh, a Level 3 virus.
Goofball: Brought back from Battle Network 2. They will hop around for a bit, protecting themselves from damage with their masks -- which can be pierced with breaker attacks and CopyDmg and the like. After that, they will go to the front column of their area and take off their masks, which sends out poison to drain your HP.
The poison only affects adjacent panels, so luring them to the top or bottom row is a good idea. When they do this attack, they can be attacked normally, but their masks will stay on the field to block all frontal assaults. After this attack, they will use Areagrab, further locking you in. Bring Jealousy to instantly rape these guys.
This version doesn't drop a chip, so it's mainly a time-waster.
If you ever end up with on and a swordy who uses an areagrab, it is NO FUN.
Get your ass back here.
GET YOUR ASS TO MARS.